When I was pregnant with my third, I was immediately welcomed into the ‘more than two children’ mum’s alliance. Complete strangers assured me, that ‘the third child is easier than the second’ and that ‘going from two to three was easier than from one to two’. Some people mentioned how their older child was a great help, I was held to ransom by my entrepreneurial 5 year old, who learnt very quickly that if baby was covered in **** and I needed another pack of wipes, she could pretty much negotiate anything!! Even friends and family with more than two, lied blatantly to my face about the workload and life changes involved in having three children. Maybe their well meaning comments were a desperate attempt to assure themselves that they did the right thing to have that third child, or maybe they were so damn tired during the early months of having three, that they were actually delusional about what it was really like!!
If you are considering having a third, here’s a summary of some of the challenges you may face, they can all be over-come (except maybe growing an extra arm!) in one way or another and for me, were well worth it in the end!!
So, once you are a family of five or more, you no-longer fit into the average family bracket. Family tickets are generally for two adults and two children, hotel rooms are predominantly for families of up to four and if you have three under-fives, just try getting three car seats in the back of an average family car!! You only have two hands, space for two on your lap and when you try to go swimming at your local pool- the computer says ‘no’!! You, as a couple, are officially outnumbered!!
You need to be places at particular times! With your first, you can stay in or leave the house as you please. You may have appointments to attend but they are of your choosing and can be scheduled around nap times. The second (with the average 2 ½ year age gap) is similar at the start, nothing too ridged in day-to-day life. Once you are on to the third child, (providing you haven’t got twins) even if you popped them out in quick succession, the oldest will be committed to some sort of activity, nursery or in my case, school. Whether they have to get there (in the case of full time school) or not, you will want to keep the routine, especially if it means one less child for a few hours! But the walking or driving backwards and forwards to different activities means that the baby sleeps far too much in the day. I was a zombie for the first 10 months of the Boy’s life, as he never slept at night and I was so tired during the day, I couldn’t bring myself to wake him!
The car. As I mentioned before, getting three car seats in the back of a family car is virtually impossible as the middle seat is too narrow. We ended up with a Landrover Discovery monster (not the most economical to say the least!) because it was one of the few that had equal sized back seats plus the bonus of an extra two seats in the boot for grandparents, friends or hitch-hikers ;). Now, I couldn’t be without a seven-seater, I know it sounds crazy but it’s actually far easier if they all have play-dates at the same time- that means collecting six kids from school!!
Holidays. We just have to be more organised! Hotels do cater for larger families but I’ve learnt to search via our criteria, rather than look for a hotel I like, only to be disappointed that they can only offer us adjoining or two separate rooms (far more expensive than one larger room). We got away with it while the Boy was still in a cot- he was in a cot on holiday until his head and feet touched both ends (#badmother!)
So why did we have a third? For the simple reason of trying for the ‘elusive boy’. With J’s sister being the only girl out of nine cousins and siblings, and the fact that the sperm determines a baby’s sex, I fully expected to have another girl. J may well have built a man-cave at this point and lived, as a recluse, in the garden! But, we got our boy. And no, we would not have tried again, had he been a girl!!!
When I see a family with three children, and the older two are different genders, I still can’t help thinking ‘why would you have a third?’
Well, we’re now out of the other side and past the ‘baby/ toddler’ stage! Though I wouldn’t change it for the world, it really wasn’t that easy and I’m sure having three will continue to present challenges, being truly outnumbered by my children!! At least I have a greater chance of one of them looking after me in later life! There are of course, many positives to having three children, I just can’t think of any more right now………….. 😉
Do you have three or more children? Are you considering having a large family? What have you found to be your greatest challenge with a larger family?
Buzymum 
I used to want three children – then I had one and thought no-way! So I have two and thats more than enough, but I do see the attraction in having three. #ablogginggoodtime
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Hubby and I didn’t meet until we were 30 but if we had been younger we definitely would have had 3. In Holland many families have 3 kids. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
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Love this! I ran an infant home daycare for years and I always had three babies at a time. It was a whirlwind and sometimes I’d keep my enrollment at two just so I could have a break. Number 3 really was the tipping point! #momsterslink
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I have five children and am well and truly out-numbered!! My first two children were with my first husband and so for me, our third was due to wanting a baby with my second husband. My fourth and fifth babies were entirely down to contraceptive failure, something which I am eternally grateful for! #momsterslink
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We stopped at two, but this is good advice to put into the ether. Good luck with everything you do. We have a friend with 4–I don’t know how she leaves the house, but she does it! More power to all of you! M’wah! ❤ #momsterlink
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LOL. That’s why I stopped at 1. Sending you well wishes from the #momsterslink
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ha ha great insight…we are currently debating having a third…we are the opposite to you and have 2 boys…trying for the elusive girl…maybe…possibly…who knows! #momsterslink
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We have 11 children, but I can honestly say that going from 2 to 3 kids was the hardest adjustment for us. After that, it got much easier, believe it or not. 🙂
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Sorry forgot to say that I came from #momsterslink!
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Wow 11!! I can’t imagine how you manage that! Xx
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I’m one of a family of 6 and If we have another boy when we have our second (a looooong way off) I would be keen on trying for a third and hoping for a girl. My husband is not keen and is adamant that families should only be of 4. I guess we’ll cross that bridge later! #fortheloveofblog
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We have three and it seemed like a good idea at the time! I didn’t find it too hard going from one to two but two to three has been a bit of a challenge. I’m not sure if it’s because our eldest has additional needs as a result of his autism or the fact that my middle one is very talkative and could ask why relentlessly all day long! He can be helpful, but mainly when he wants to be and not when I actually need him to be. My two boys are 16 months apart and mainly fight like cat and dog or get up to mischief together! My baby is actually the easiest, though by no means easy! She is the only one who currently sleep through the night! She’s 11 months old and I’m hoping this doesn’t change as she gets older. Thanks for sharing this, love the honesty. It’s hard work with three but worth it and it means they will all have each other when they’re all grown up! #fortheloveofBLOG
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A close friend of mine also has 3 boys and I have to say organisation seems to be the key! They are now 5,8 and 12…I have a 15 month girl and a 12 year old stepson and the age gap can be a bit tricky to find things to do together where they are both entertained. Though the little one has recently found a love for the football and thinks it’s hilarious when my stepson kicks the football around! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday xx
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The car is such a big deal, thank goodness for the seven seaters #KCACOLS
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Just managing with my one child at the moment. So absolutely hats off to you for managing three! #kcacols X
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I have 3 and my older 2 are different sex. I must say I have found it easier going from 2 to 3 than 1 to 2 but it can be hard at times when they all want attention at once x #KCACOLS
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Love the honesty of this post – we went for our second…. and ended up with twins, but wouldn’t have it any other way now. I know at least 3 families who went for their 3rd and ended up with twins. I also know what lady who was persuaded to try for a 3rd by her hubby and had triplets!!!! #fortheloveofBLOG.
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Thought I was having twins with our third as it runs in the family. I was in my maternity jeans at 10 weeks whereas not until around 4 months with the others! Turns out my ab’s were just shot to bits by then! Thank goodness it was only one!! X
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I always thought I’d want three children…until we had Baby Lighty and realised how blimmin’ hard work it all is!! Now money will dictate whether we even have a second unfortunately, but I can just imagine the logistics of having three, and that’s from the place of only having one! Looks like you’ve got it Sussex though 🙂 #fartglitter
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I was really pleased to see this post as I was just discussing this with friends at the weekend and have been mulling over it for some time now! Our youngest is 6 months and I have two girls. It’s not really the trying for a boy factor it’s the “are we done now? And can I go through another pregnancy post natal stage”. great to see an honest post as like you say loads of people with 3/4 say it gets easier, I sincerely doubt it!! But hats off to you and good luck with your bigger brood 😊 #bigpinklink
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Before I had my son, I talked about how I wanted so many kids. Now, I’m 16 months in with one and I’m happy with this for awhile-a long while, haha. I imagine life with 3 kids is probably more than chaotic-but there’s a whole lot of love to go around! ❤ #KCACOLS
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Oh no! Don’t tell me this. I have been trying to convince my husband we should have a third (we already have one of each) I told him we won’t need a new car. Haha! Obviously this is not case then. I also use the argument that we have a better chance of one of them taking care of us in old age too 🙂 #MMBC
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Before I had kids I wanted as many as possible. About 5 minutes after I had my son I started wondering if I really wanted a second. About 500% sure I don’t want three. And I hadn’t even thought about any of the points you mentioned beyond only having two sets of hands. Love your refreshing honesty though.
#fartglitter
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Having had two girls we are regularly asked if we are going to try for the elusive boy, I can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind but I’m 99% sure we’re done with the ‘pregnancy chapter’ of our lives. It was really refreshing to read such an honest account of life with three children and definitely an account I’ll refer friends to when they’re to-ing and fro-ing about having a third. Thank you for linking to #bigpinklink x
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haha this is so funny because it is just so true! I have 3, and I am always complaining about the holiday thing. It drives me mad that so many Hotels have this max of 4 people rule, I mean why can’t we just roll in a bed or put an extra one in our own bed? It is so much more expensive with 3 when you go away. When Adam was born Aspen started big school 3 months later so he was in and out of the car all the time, only he never stayed asleep. I wouldn’t change it for the world, our little boy is the light of my life, he gives the most awesome hugs! We didn’t actually try for a boy, we just wanted another one, I would actually have another one, but hubby is like NO WAY lol. So I agree it is harder it is so much harder with 3 than 2, but watching them bond and play is totally awesome. Great read! Thanks for linking up to, #mg
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Lol! Thanks for your honesty! We have the “millionaires family” so to speak, but are still in the process of trying for our third. Call me crazy, but I don’t quite feel done in the baby-making section of my life, even though I hated my last pregnancy. So, wish me luck! 😀
#KCACOLS
Tori @ The Mama Nurse
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Thanks Trista! Very excited to be featured this week and that so many people read my post! Will be linking, liking, commenting and sharing the love again tomorrow!! Thanks for hosting 😘😘
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I have the same number of offspring as hands and for me that is a struggle enough. I love them both dearly and I know that if number 3 came along I would love them to the end of the earth, but we are definitely stopping at two. High five and three pieces of cake for you lovely! Very much respect! Thanks for linking with #fartglitter x
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Back again for a second visit – just as good and just as much respect to you at the second read lovely. Thanks for linking with #DreamTeam x
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Love your honesty in this post! I have a boy and a girl, and we were debating whether or not to have a third, and I change my mind about it every other day, haha. x #KCACOLS
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I read this with interest as both hubby and I are the eldest of three. #mg
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Congrats on having the third baby and it being a boy. Having a third must be a difficult decision to make. I think that we will stop at 2, currently have 1, but you never know. It sounds like you are managing great, it must be so difficult to begin with, but I’m sure it gets easier. My sister in law has just had her third, and she gets helps with bringing stuff for the baby by her other two children which is great but also gives them the opportunity to bone with the baby. I hope that everything is going okay . Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
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I had 3 babies in 25 months and none of them are twins. This is because my third was a complete surprise as I hadn’t even had a period yet after having my second, I was breastfeeding, and we were “being careful”. Not to mention my husband was scheduled for a vasectomy when capow! we found out we were having another. He still kept the vasectomy appointment of course! Plus he had 2 older boys who were 8 and 10 when I met him. So here we were, a family of seven, and you are so right when there is nowhere that accommodates large families. If we went of vacation we would luck out sometimes and find a hotel that had a “3 bed” room or we would pay an arm and a leg for a suite. When we would walk into restaurants they would look at us like WTF? 2 tweens and 3 in diapers and you want us to sit you where? How about out back by the dumpster where no one will hear you. Now we are a family of 6 as our oldest is officially all grown up and moved out. But we still don’t fit into society’s “modern sized family”. Congrats on getting your boy! And thanks for linking up with #momsterslink … hope to see you Thursday!
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Yep! Three kids pretty much put me over the edge. Not because the third was so difficult…well she was. But it was for all the reasons you listed above.
#dreamteam
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