So, why is micromanaging your kids, bad for their health? As a parent, of course you want to do as much as possible for your kids and make sure they are developing, healthy, and happy. However, trying to control everything your kids do and see is not a good idea. Micromanaging your kids, AKA overparenting them, can be very bad for them. It can impact their self esteem, and have other negative effects on their wellbeing and behaviour. Here, we’ll explore more about what this is bad for your kids and what you should do if you’re struggling to let go of the reigns a bit.
You’re Giving Your Kids The Impression You Don’t Have Confidence In Them
When you must micromanage your kids, you’re giving them the impression you don’t have confidence in them. This will mean they lose confidence in themselves and struggle to make decisions, and will likely also be scared to try anything new. Many kids carry these things with them into adulthood.
They Won’t Feel Able To Make Their Own Choices
Let them wear mismatched clothes. Let them color the sky orange and the grass blue. Don’t correct them. Let them use their imaginations and explore. If you feel the need to manage these things, your child’s imagination and expression will be stunted early on.
They Will Think Failing Is The End Of The World
Learning how to fail is key. You can’t always run to your child’s rescue, so don’t intervene at the first sign of a problem. They need to develop problem solving skills and they should learn from their failures. They should see them as opportunities to learn, rather than something to avoid at all costs. They’ll be more likely to try new things and risk embarrassment when they get older, which is crucial for a fulfilled life! If they spend their lives trying to avoid failure, chances are, they won’t do much.
Your Child Will Struggle With Responsibilities Later On
Your child needs responsibilities to learn valuable life skills. Obviously they need to be age appropriate, but you should be giving them small responsibilities as early on as you can. Things like cleaning their room and washing the dishes are easy and can be done from a young age.
Letting Go Of The Need To Micromanage
The key to letting go is to accept that your kids are individuals that are always learning and growing and that they will make mistakes. This is good for them! Aim to be a good parent, not a perfect parent. There’s no such thing as perfect! You need to let them be free to a certain extent. The idea of school trips to Disneyland Paris might fill you with dread now, but this will be such a great learning and growing opportunity for them, and something they’ll remember forever.
You Are Not Your Child
Make sure you distinguish between yourself and your child – you shouldn’t be trying to live vicariously through them or encouraging them to do all of the things you used to do if they don’t want to. You can’t help them to avoid every single mistake you’ve ever made. If you worry so much that it’s affecting your quality of life, acknowledge your feelings and work on them, as this issue probably runs a lot deeper. Working with a pro could help.
This is a collaborative post.